punching your weight

There's some irony (or perhaps no irony whatsoever, I'm not sure) in the fact that Ireland's best showing in the Olympics so far has been in "fisticuffs with rules".

cooking for blokes

A sure-fire way to check if those eggs in the back of the fridge are fresh or not: fumble the entire carton as you're taking it off the shelf, and from the state of the eggs that fall on the floor, the door of the fridge, your shoes, etc. you should be able to make a pretty accurate assessment of the freshness of any surviving eggs!

cooking for blokes II

Q. How can I tell if my potatoes are cooked?
A. Lift a potato from the pot with a fork and make to transfer it to a plate. If the potato slides off, bounces once on the plate, and then falls to the ground and - this is the important bit - splits into several pieces, your potatoes are ready to eat!

(Today was not a good day for me to be in the kitchen)