text-message conversation with waidesworld

waider Um. Streaker in the pub.
waidesworld Your bar?
waider Nope
waidesworld Where?
waider Macgruders
waidesworld They have streakers now?
waider Yes very posh these days
waidesworld Man or woman?
waider Man. cold man.

The funnier part was that the streaker, having been barred for his activites, returned, leapt up on the bar, and was spanked on the arse by the barman before jumping back onto the floor and running out the door. Much amusement.

semantics

Is it still a steak dinner if the steak is served between two slices of wholegrain bread?

how would sir like his duck's ass to look?

I got my hair cut again today, much the same cut as the last time. I have to enquire though, if there's an obliging hairdresser in my meagre audience to answer: do they teach anything at hairdresser school about that tonsorial construct referred to as a cow's lick? Regardless of whether I warn the stylist or not, the inevitable reaction to my spring-loaded fringe is to try and damp it down with water, cut it in a dead straight line, then smear it with "product" in the hope that I won't notice that it's busily doing its own stuff. Hello, I have been dealing with this for 32 years. I know exactly how it behaves, and precisely (to 15 decimal places) how much disregard it has for "product".